From mom, October 16, 2009

October 16, 2009

Dear Jeremiah,

It’s Friday. I’m beat. So freaking tired today. I didn’t sleep very good last night and woke up with breathing issues. I’m fine now. It just makes it hard to get ready for work and I feel like I’m an hour off. Woke up an hour late so everything is an hour late too. So I got my ad in the Oregonian for Pony last night. Hopefully someone calls and gets her this weekend. Because Mike just started working, his first pay check is small and he’ll need it for living expenses on the road. So I’m been paying for everything for the boys. Ann isn’t watching the boys next week or after. She says she is going to be busy packing to move to Eugene. I talked (well texted) her about it last night. She has a friend there that she is moving in with and is planning on getting her drivers license, ged and starting college after that. Which is good if she really does those things. She said eventually they where gonna get a place with four bedrooms. Mike told me this morning the she doesn’t seem to realize that she won’t be getting money for the boy’s care. She may be able to get financial aide to go to school but she would most likely need a part time job to help make ends meet. I don’t know how the boys fit into all this. Maybe they don’t. anyways. I don’t really, care what Ann does, it’s the boys that I have my concerns about. They deserve to have a stable home life just like any kid does. I was thinking just a little while ago that I don’t really work all that fast and yet I’m a week ahead of schedule. Joseph just did a move out walk thru and had me change the locks then instead of waiting for it to come up on the schedule. It’s funny that all I remember seeing in this unit was black people. The people there to do the move out were Mexicans. We had so much trouble from these last occupants. Tons of complaints and stuff. I can see how people get racially prejudice against black people by the example of people like this. It’s like having one kid in the class that causes trouble and everyone has to stay inside for recess. Of course around here lately everyone seems like a trouble maker. The bar has been lowered. It don’t matter who it is either. Most seem like trash. In fact that’s one of the reasons I have to do so many turn over. More people are skipping out or getting evicted than those who actually give notice. I got your letter yesterday about staying in for only 3 years and then going to school. I think it is a good plan. You will just have to be more careful with your money and save as much as possible. When your three years come up just re-evaluate your situation, the direction your heading in, maybe see what the economy is doing and go from there. You still have a lot of time to decide what your gonna do and what holds your interest. Trust your instincts. If something feels bad, it probably is. Set some long term goals and short term too. Figure out what you really and truly want and take the steps to get there. You never know. You so far have only had a small taste of the Army. Your next duty station will give you a better picture of what it’s really like everyday living. You’re always going to have good moments and bad moments no matter where you are. Just try to have more good than bad. Stuff happens. Don’t try to control what you can’t control, it’s pointless. Maybe someday you and Quincy could get a shrimpin boat and be shrimpin boat captains. Now that would be the life have it all figured out, so much for gas, so much for nets. You could sleep on the boat…….

I kill myself sometimes. Smile for me. I love you so much. You are my favorite. Love mom.